No one would choose to have a disability if given the choice, no one would think of using a wheelchair, crutches, canes or any device simply for the sake of it. The problem is that among the 978 million things that life doesn't let us choose are genetic, congenital, acquired diseases and, of course, accidents.
In my view, there are basically two types of people with disabilities: those who were born with one and those who acquired one. Regardless of whether it arises from natural causes - such as, for example, a dystrophy, due to which people are born without disabilities, but the symptoms develop very slowly throughout life, and even when muscle weakness comes on quickly and severely - or if it arises because of a car accident, poorly administered medication, a slippery staircase on a busy day and so on, it is different from being a person with a disability forever.
A person who is born with any kind of limitation ends up learning that the word of law is ADAPTATION. Since children, they learn that all activities will have to be adapted to their physical or psychological condition. Traumas are experienced and healed every day of their existence and, thus, these people generally become more mature adolescents and more coherent and grateful adults, because self-knowledge is already part of their routine. In general, they are people who already understand the processes to readapt their lives to each new barrier.
On the other hand, when someone becomes a person with a disability after having lived in a body with full functions, there is a much greater trauma. It's like a bridge that breaks in front of you and behind you, and at first there's just the feeling of “What do I do now?”. There is no going back, and the legs that took you there are no longer part of the present, in the same way that the paths that were learned to move forward are no longer viable. So, there are some stages that everyone goes through, each in their own way and at their own time, but they are summed up, in the end, in:
Acceptance, Adaptation and Resilience.
Accepting that it is a new world, full of unknown barriers, 99.9% of the time accompanied by pain, treatments, medications, exams and Homeric disappointments. It's not easy at all. But after acceptance comes a comforting feeling. It must be remembered that human beings have inhabited this planet for 350,000 years, precisely because they were able to adapt. So, looking from another angle, there will always, always, always be some learning to be grateful for.
Here comes the famous Resilience! That is, the ability to deal with problems that arise, take appropriate action, adapt to changes and overcome obstacles. Finally, resisting the pressure of these adaptations to find strategic solutions for situations that one could not even imagine living.
The biggest “trick” is to face these adversities created by deficiencies, conditioning the mind and body, relearning, daily, to redirect frightening thoughts, understanding that pain and limitations will inevitably be part of the path.
All this is much easier to say or read than to do. Disability brings a completely different world, like a parallel universe that mixes with real life, full of uncertainties and frustrations. But disability only exists in those who are alive, and this life is the greatest fuel for discovering the wonder of seeing the world through different eyes, prioritizing what and who really matters, learning new values and, above all, recognizing the true meaning of the word GRATEFUL.
It's not the end of the world, it's a new world to be explored with courage, creativity and persistence. Difficult days will come for everyone, it's up to each one to discover the best way to adapt and turn each adversity into a story with a very nice ending to tell.
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Amanda Lyra - Singer, songwriter, producer and presenter, wheelchair user and creator of the Solyra Project . Follow her on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM .
Paloma Santos is an illustrator, wheelchair user and feminist. "In my work as an illustrator I try to represent female diversity". Follow her on INSTAGRAM and like her on FACEBOOK .
