First of all, congratulations! We know it was a struggle and a huge achievement to get into university. It is the result of a lot of study, effort and breaking barriers for many who are reading this, so you deserve to be proud of your achievement, just as we are.
WELCOME!
We wrote this letter thinking about all the situations we've been through, because, just like you, we are also faced with the new adventure that is entering the university. It is difficult for us to have to say these things, warn them because no one should be careful not to experience humiliating situations, harassment and other forms of violence, but as long as we live in a sexist society like ours, we will have to speak.
Many of us leave home and find ourselves in a new city, or even a new country, with different people, in different places; having the need to adapt to a new dynamic being some young and inexperienced, so we want to advise you with affection and we hope you listen to us.
And yes, in fact, the university is a space for knowledge construction, as well as our own construction as people. But we have to take into account that it is a reflection of our society, that is, we also find ourselves with a reality that violates and blames us in various ways.
You, like us, will find yourself experiencing a freedom that some never experience. You'll be invited to a lot of parties, with lots of drinking and stuff. These places are full of boys, and many of them won't be there just to drink and talk. We want you to stay tuned, and please don't get caught up in the momentum and pressure. Do not drink more than your body can handle. Do not agree to go to a house, apartment or dorm with strangers or people you don't trust, no matter how interesting they seem. Give priority to the ride with the mines, especially in the beginning. Also be careful who you invite into your space, people can act inappropriately.
Comrade, don't think you should please everyone, just do what makes you completely comfortable. Don't drink if you don't want to, don't kiss that person who flirts with you if you don't want to, don't do anything you really don't want to. You don't have to be who you are not to be accepted into a group, we all must respect, and in this process, imposing limits is also essential. Don't feel bad about it.
But, if you come across an interesting person, you can take advantage. We only ask that you be careful, surround yourself with colleagues you trust and let the places you go know when it is not possible to go out accompanied. Take care of each other, don't go alone to places you don't know, take precautions. And if at any time you feel uncomfortable, leave.
This advice does not only apply to parties, bars or get-togethers. They are advice for your entire stay at the university, regarding anyone you may meet around here, on or off campus.
Another piece of advice that we allow ourselves to give you is to get closer to the collectives that exist at the university.
It was what strengthened many of us, and helped us understand that this feeling of discomfort with other people's attitudes that invade our space is also violence and it's not that we are out of place, much less that we have to get used to it. Thus, within the collectives it is possible to find emotional support with some people in the environment, which at one time always ends up being necessary.
It is often difficult to get used to this new university life, being far from our friendships, from a lifetime and also from those people who have always watched over us. But have no doubt that here you will find companions that will strengthen you as a person, and that many of them will be friends that you will take with you for the rest of your life. Participate in projects that exist at the university and help us to build other spaces, to think of other possibilities. Construction is collective, and your presence is fundamental, life is not limited to college subjects if you have time to participate in other spaces.
Comrade, unfortunately, the university has a history of all types of violence, and it is for this reason that many feminist, black, LGBTQIA+ and other fronts of struggle were born.
Unfortunately, things don't come from above, and we are the ones who have struggled to try to change these limited and fake structures that don't listen to us and don't value our needs.
And we want to leave a message for you guys who are reading this too. We hope that you can understand many things that were naturalized in us and that you can be the best person you can be and understand that consent is fundamental to having healthy moments and living with respect. So, when someone says no, we have to understand that this means a resounding no and insisting constitutes violence, harassment, so pay attention. Furthermore, if you witness any situation or hear sexist, sexist or any type of discriminatory comments, speak up, do not be silent, do not condone. You don't know the difference you can make in many people's lives!
And for you companions, our arms are open to meet you, welcome you and embrace you.
Fondly,
their fellow veterans.
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Text written by the feminist collective Marti Vive! from the Federal University of Latin American Integration.
